Ok so i guess u can tell i am totally not feeling fabulous today. In fact i havent felt fabulous in a while lol.

maybe thats something to do with me gaining like 20lbs >:T

apparently i’ve been pretty affected by the whole jaf bonanza and so i’ve comfort ate myself to a hefty 10lbs++

grrrr! This is so not how i wanted my life to go!

i mean i always wanted to be the type that would work out and go for a run or do like 100+ squats when under emotional duress but nope i just go omnomnomnomnom

this is not going to work lol

so today i did a few squats (by few i mean a measly 10 but hey! Its a start lol) and i am planning on going clean starting tomorrow.

and also i should mention i am a broke miss piggy as this emotional trauma has me spending like whoa.

i have to cut up my credit cards or something.

or um i guess i should focus on spiritual things to help me get over it. Like read the Bible instead of internet shopping iykwim.

(Oh but the sales!! How could this miss piggy miss out on the sales?! And all totally necessary things like the foreo luna-chaning up the way i wash my face at night and so so worth it! And my new fragrance carven eau d’toilette- j’adore! And these wonderful black patent stiletto mary janes that totally are channelling park bom circa iatb- totes adorbs!)

and um.
No.
stop.
dont u dare go back on modcloth.
or gilt.
And DEFINITELY not neiman marcus.
and sephora.

gahhh! I have to really expend my energies on spiritual things- really put my focus where it belongs like improving my chinese

ermm.. yes my chinese.

it does leave much to be desired.

grrr…

yes.

starting next week i will pull myself together.

i will regain that FOCUS.

i used to be so put together.

i hate it when i’m so…not put together.

ugh i cant even think of the word and inprecise (unprecise?) Word choice always always bothers me.

i need to get back in the groove.

on another terribly depressing note, last wednesday was my dear L’s last meeting. 🙁

my heart has truly been smashed into smithereens recently.

i’m going to miss him dreadfully, probably more so than jaf as L has been a more constant figure in my life.

🙁

come back!!!!