OMG so while on Diamond Head, there was this super obnoxious kid blasting music from his backpack.

And one of the chords are just so familiar that I’m like, OMG and then the singing starts and I’m all of a sudden transported to about 15 years ago when I’d spend days at my dad’s store, you know?

But he wanders away and all I’ve heard is “helloo~~helloo~~”

OMG it drives me crazy that I can’t remember the lyrics afterwards or even the artist.

I come home with the same chords going through my head over and over again…

I spend like all day on Monday going through 2000s alternative music Vevos trying to find this song-I know, I have no life, sorry but hey, this was important to me.

Finally, I get to Red Hot Chili Peppers and I’m not, noo I’m like a really big fan of the RHCP, no way it’s them because I’d know.

What do you know?? It’s RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS! OTHERSIDE!

And it’s not even Hello, hello, it’s HOW LONG, HOW LONG!!

OMG

I was so disappointed in myself LOL

I mean, I used to have the RHCP in my old Toshiba computer, back when I used to d/l with napster and kazaa and limewire

Gosh.

But because of my going crazy I ended up rediscovering all of my old songs from back in the day. Have I ever missed High School as much as I do now??

I couldn’t tell.

Like I used to be a closet angst, you know? Because you know, hormones and stuff. So I used to listen to all these angsty and angry songs and it just…

Anyways.

Then yesterday, me and HJ watched The Holiday which is from 2006 (the year I graduated) and OMG the songs! It had like the Killers, Frou Frou (let go was MY SONG) and just…wow.

I kinda miss high school. Isn’t that incredible? I mean I haven’t missed high school at all since I’ve graduated and to suddenly wish for those days, it’s really something.

I guess I’m missing my youth, having no real responsibilities, no pressures to get married-ugh that’s the worst one

I mean, seriously, even grandma and grandpa are starting to pressure me, like, why don’t you have a boyfriend?? You keep your eyes too high (basically a Korean phrase that says that my standards are ridiculously high)

Why can’t I have high standards?? We marry for keeps!!

What if I don’t really like him and marry him out of panic and fear of loneliness?? What if I’m stuck with him forever?!

I miss having all the time in the world to write and draw, I miss having summers off, I miss the mix of trepidation and excitement for the future

Growing up kinda sucks.

The only good thing is that now that I’m working I can afford nice things and vacations and I guess I have more independence but still.

It’s still very constrained, you know? And nice things get old super fast.

I’d rather still be the unfabulous, plain high schooler facing limitless possibilities instead of being stuck at the age of 28 in a job that’s not a career, generally unhappy with things and in a state of getting well, old.

See? Getting old is not natural. I mean if it was supposed to happen why is it then our natural inclination to fight and resist the aging process??

Sigh.

Memories like embers keep us warm

– The Hush Sound, Don’t Wake Me Up