A Pale Pink City

My Life in Fiction

Month: April 2016 (Page 1 of 2)

We Intertwined

It’s so strange to see him here, a clash of two very different worlds.

It unnerves M as she squirms under the scrutiny of his gaze, still the penetrating azure of her memories.

He smiles as recognition lights up his face, adjusts the collar of his coat and runs a hand through his hair. M used to love the way his hair would glint gloriously in the sun.

Now it’s starting to thin a bit at the temples and showing streaks of silver behind his ears.

No matter, she muses, he’s not hers and he’s never been hers.

If so, then why is it so hard to breathe?

Swallowing the flood of regret trapped just beyond her epiglottis takes more effort than she feels she can manage. But she manages and is even able to eke out a carefully practiced smile.

Her mind protests loudly as they make their way towards each other and she’s feeling terribly betrayed by her feet as she breaks into a brisk walk into his arms.

I’ve missed you, she hears him mutter into her ear and she can only close her eyes and take in his scent. He’s woodsy with a hint of patchouli and bergamot and perhaps a tinge of fine leather.

The freshness of laundry detergent and soap cuts through to a nice finish and she never wants to let him go.

But here they are, parting already and exchanging nothing but the shallowest of pleasantries.

How’ve you been?

What are you doing here in New York?

How is the family?

The fine, vellous hairs at the start of his fading hairline catches her eye and she marvels at the way they seem to catch all the light. It’s a softness that makes her chest constrict, much in a way a heart attack would, she reckons.

Memories that used to lay dormant roars alive in the space between her ears and from under the protective hold of her rib cage.

Days spent lazing around with their mutual friends, hours spent making the perfect CD mixes, ice cream in the summers and hot drinks to warm their hands in the winters, day trips to the beach and shy furtive glances at each other under twinkly carnival lights…

It’s all too much to repress and she just allows herself to bask in the warmth of those memories while trying to concentrate on the conversation.

Quite frankly, she couldn’t care any less about quantum physics and faster-than-light travel but eagerly nods and smiles to prolong the conversation as long as possible.

All the while, she’s committing his features- now harder, firmer and defined with fine lines set into his strong jaw-into her memory. She doesn’t know when she’ll be graced with the opportunity to see him again.

A familiar ring breaks the conversation and she silences her phone without bothering to check who’s calling. She resists the urge to curse the caller under her breath and smiles at the blonde to continue.

But it’s broken their flow, and he’s checking the time on his phone as well.

I’ve got to get going now. 

She nods blankly, numb but burning all over, all at once. It’s a terrible juxtaposition, to feel everything and nothing, searing pain and apathy.

She wonders if he’s broken her brain. At the very least, he’s broken her heart.

You should be used to this, she smiles bitterly.

As he walks away, she stands rooted to the spot, hoping that he’d turn around and look back at least once.

Just once, she pleads. But his figure continues to retreat and soon he’s lost among the crowds heading for the subways.

Even the weather is not cooperating with her today as the bright rays and gentle breezes belies her grief and moodiness. She’d have much preferred rain and chilly temperatures.

But life is cruelly ironic.

She hugs herself tightly, trying to mend the large gap he’s left behind, trying to pick up the pieces of herself falling after him.

He’s not yours…

 

 

Paperthin Hymns & Speeding Cars at 9 In The Afternoon

OMG so while on Diamond Head, there was this super obnoxious kid blasting music from his backpack.

And one of the chords are just so familiar that I’m like, OMG and then the singing starts and I’m all of a sudden transported to about 15 years ago when I’d spend days at my dad’s store, you know?

But he wanders away and all I’ve heard is “helloo~~helloo~~”

OMG it drives me crazy that I can’t remember the lyrics afterwards or even the artist.

I come home with the same chords going through my head over and over again…

I spend like all day on Monday going through 2000s alternative music Vevos trying to find this song-I know, I have no life, sorry but hey, this was important to me.

Finally, I get to Red Hot Chili Peppers and I’m not, noo I’m like a really big fan of the RHCP, no way it’s them because I’d know.

What do you know?? It’s RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS! OTHERSIDE!

And it’s not even Hello, hello, it’s HOW LONG, HOW LONG!!

OMG

I was so disappointed in myself LOL

I mean, I used to have the RHCP in my old Toshiba computer, back when I used to d/l with napster and kazaa and limewire

Gosh.

But because of my going crazy I ended up rediscovering all of my old songs from back in the day. Have I ever missed High School as much as I do now??

I couldn’t tell.

Like I used to be a closet angst, you know? Because you know, hormones and stuff. So I used to listen to all these angsty and angry songs and it just…

Anyways.

Then yesterday, me and HJ watched The Holiday which is from 2006 (the year I graduated) and OMG the songs! It had like the Killers, Frou Frou (let go was MY SONG) and just…wow.

I kinda miss high school. Isn’t that incredible? I mean I haven’t missed high school at all since I’ve graduated and to suddenly wish for those days, it’s really something.

I guess I’m missing my youth, having no real responsibilities, no pressures to get married-ugh that’s the worst one

I mean, seriously, even grandma and grandpa are starting to pressure me, like, why don’t you have a boyfriend?? You keep your eyes too high (basically a Korean phrase that says that my standards are ridiculously high)

Why can’t I have high standards?? We marry for keeps!!

What if I don’t really like him and marry him out of panic and fear of loneliness?? What if I’m stuck with him forever?!

I miss having all the time in the world to write and draw, I miss having summers off, I miss the mix of trepidation and excitement for the future

Growing up kinda sucks.

The only good thing is that now that I’m working I can afford nice things and vacations and I guess I have more independence but still.

It’s still very constrained, you know? And nice things get old super fast.

I’d rather still be the unfabulous, plain high schooler facing limitless possibilities instead of being stuck at the age of 28 in a job that’s not a career, generally unhappy with things and in a state of getting well, old.

See? Getting old is not natural. I mean if it was supposed to happen why is it then our natural inclination to fight and resist the aging process??

Sigh.

Memories like embers keep us warm

– The Hush Sound, Don’t Wake Me Up

 

Hawaii April 4-10, 2016

OMG so we literally JUST got back from a trip to Hawaii, me, my sisters and my mom.

Can I just say it was absolutely wonderful?! I would love to go back, maybe stay for a while.

The beautiful turquoise waters so clear that even chest deep you can see clearly to your pedicures, the majestic mountains that disappear into the fog and clouds, the dense lush foliage that hums with life-beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

The people are so kind and welcoming in general-my sisters and I concluded it must be from laid back island weather.

And even though the weather was not as warm as anticipated (high 70s, low 80s with rain and so. much. WIND!), it was snowing and in freezing temperatures here in New Jersey.

Every bend there was something new to appreciate, whether it was the sights of the effortlessly blue beaches or the miles and miles of pineapple farmland against a backdrop of towering green mountains.

Day 1: (coincidentally it’s my 28th birthday) we leave for Hawaii and arrive in Honolulu at 1PM. We get our rental care ( a white Chevy Trac) from Alamo and check into our hotel. By the time we get settled and have Marukame Udon for lunch/dinner and a short walk along the water, we are tired and go to bed early (7PM which is 1AM in NJ time)

Day 2: Everyone gets up early, it’s the effect of the time difference (6hours!) And we decide due to the rainy forecast, we will do some sightseeing. We start with a Hawaiian McDonald’s breakfast (rice and spam! Why don’t they have this in the East Coast?!) then go to Pearl Harbor.

We literally take like 30minutes at Pearl Harbor, take a few photos and go on our way to the Dole Plantation.

Dole whip is SO GOOD. Basically pineapple soft serve. Apparently pineapples are a thing in Hawaii.

Turtle Beach. TURTLES. OMG. That is all. Plus, the beach is so picturesque, it’s beautiful, the jewel tone greens and blues of the algae and water. And the turtles have such soulful, big black eyes that are just so penetrating. I love turtles 🙂

Then we head to the Polynesian Cultural Center which opens at 12PM. We have food truck lunch first, North Shore Shrimp and Surf and Turf fish tacos. The four of us are thoroughly underwhelmed and think perhaps Giovanni’s Shrimp Truck will be better.

The afternoon flies by at the PCC, we enjoy all the cultural exhibits and opt out of the pricey luau (the admission to the PCC is 60$ pp, the luau is another 60$ pp and is basically the same thing as the shows they put on for the PCC).

We drive along the Windward Coast and are enthralled by the giant mountain going onto Highway 3. It’s such a pretty drive even with the rain 🙂

Back at the hotel (the Waikiki Banyan) we are exhausted. Dinner is poke bowls from Foodland and we head to bed early.

Day 3: Breakfast is Acai bowls! Yum! From Hawaiian Crown Plantation.

We start off with a hike at Waimea Valley which is beautiful. TONS of photos are taken there 🙂

(And shameless use of the selfie stick happens here-actually all vacation the selfie stick made an appearance!)

(We are shamelessly Korean LOL)

The waterfalls at the end are also underwhelming as the falls back here on the East Coast are more stately. But they allow people to swim in the lagoon! Amazing!

Lunch again is food trucks but Giovanni’s this time and it’s much better.

Then we try to go to Kailua Beach and Lanikai beach but due to the weather (it’s freezing in the mid 70s with crazy winds) we head back to Waikiki to find it’s nice and sunny there.

(Albeit still windy)

The sun is still nice and hot so I get a few minutes to sunbathe and we spend around 3 hours at the beach.

Dinner is cup ramen and spam musubis as we are all too exhausted to leave the hotel to eat out and it was cold so we were craving something hot and soupy.

We walk around a bit in Waikiki at night and I end up buying a Maxi dress from Muse.

Day 4: In the AM we head up Diamond Head Crater hike. The hike is a little arduous and it’s hot and sunny with barely any reprieve from the sun.

But the views are amazing and once we reach midway, the wind starts to pick up and it feels so refreshing.

Vista views of Honolulu and the ocean, the mountains steals our breath away despite the crowds and we enjoy the panoramic views of the coast.

For lunch we have Teddy’s Bigger Burgers-pineapple burgers with famous fries, onion rings…etc. Mom enjoys herself 🙂 And I become obsessed with trying local Hawaiian fare (actually this started with Papa Ole and missing out while we were in the area on Tuesday LOL)

After eating, we take a stroll around Waikiki beach taking yet even more pictures before heading back for a dip in the water.

Dinner is Me BBQ and I get 육계장 of all things LOL but it was delicious and we liked it ok (not as good as Korean food here in the East Coast but it hit our Korean food craving quite nicely)

Again we walk the streets of Waikiki at night and we end up getting Hawaiian Shaved Ice at the Island Vintage Shaved Ice and it’s amazing! Esp. the heavenly lillikoi! Pink island is not as good but still refreshing!

Day 5: Already our last full day in Hawaii 🙁

After quickly getting breakfast from ABC, we go to Hanauma Bay Nature Reserve for snorkeling and we go early (we arrive at 7AM) and while the water is freezing, we have SO MUCH FUN!

(Well it’s me and JH, because my mom and HJ get panic attacks with snorkeling)

OMG there are so many different types of fish and coral and marine life! It totally blows Punta Cana snorkeling out of the water! And the water is so clear and shallow!

The fishes swim right up to us due to the shallow water and there’s just so many different types, all colorful and tropical. Some are gigantic and in the colors of the rainbow and others are tiny, the size of my thumb, and black and white spotted!

We spot a puffer fish, a parrot fish, thousands of others I can’t name but are neon and beautiful. There are rumors of turtle sightings but unfortunately we don’t get to see it.

Lunch we have Spam Musubis that we pick up from ABC, then after a brief nap while everyone showers, we head to Walmart to pick up some souvenirs/gifts.

Dinner is local Hawaiian fare from Rainbow Drive In, a mixed bbq plate and a loco moco (finally!) but the food is underwhelming, on account of the food is too much gravy, sodium and well…just not good LOL (to our palates, I’m sure if you are a hardcore meat lover, you’d’ve liked it LOL)

Korean Midweek Meeting 🙂 (we get lost finding it, but it looks exactly like an apartment building LOL)

(they go 25 minutes over time and I am about to die from sleepiness)

Our last evening in Hawaii is spent packing :T

Day 6: We start off with breakfast at Teddy’s Bigger Burgers for their pancaks, acai bowls and the egg and tofu plate. 🙂

(although the waiter dude gave us attitude because we asked for another fork. Well wth, the fork you gave us was DIRTY.)

Then we went for a quick drive to the Pali Lookout to look over the windward side and it was again very beautiful.

Lunch was Marukame Udon LOL and we pick up food for the flight from Food Pantry 🙂

Then a hullaballoo as we rush to get to the Alamo rental care center to return our car and get to the airport in time.

(Boarding time is 2:05, lift off is 2:55 but for some reason I had thought boarding was 2:55 so I thought we had a lot of time at 1PM when were were still on our way to Alamo. We rush like crazy and somehow manage to get to our  gate by 1:30!)

We get in first and the flight is terrible. So much turbulence and OMG they turned off the ac so we all got airsick. Plus the seats were so hard, the cushions on the seats so thin we could feel everything if the person sitting behind us touched the tray LOL

It was so bad that JH threw up when we got home.

But then we all took long naps and everything was ok. LOL

And while we were in Hawaii, the Korean Chinese Language Class was being held and we had guests, LOL. They apparently came in late everyday and so it was kinda weird. They left this morning as we were coming home.

I said hello and it was a little awkward but oh wells.

And then we had the K’s GoodBye Party at our house later in the evening. But that’s a whole other entry.

NOw I have to sleep 🙂

 

Mahalo, Hawaii!

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