A Pale Pink City

My Life in Fiction

Tag: divine peace

gloomy monday

So as i was saying earlier, the weather is kinda aweful. Well the light rain we’ve had earlier today has turned into an outright downpour.

im serious. Im sitting at a window in ikea as we speak trying to enjoy a slice of their wonderful wonderful chocolate cake as the roar of the torrential rain blots out everything else but i can’t.

even chocolate cake tastes like stale bread covered in sawdust when you’re despairing inside.

i hate to sound so gloom and doom but i’ve found out that j is indeed marrying c-their wedding is in 54 days lol and my old college crush is also engaged to get married.

yeah talk about a double whammy 🙁

Well i guess i have the closure i was wanting.

Now to finally move on with my life.

dearly beloved, i hope you and c are infinitely happy together forever. Best of love and health to you both.

I will not be writing to you or of you ever again and i will try my very best to forget you and not think of you again.

and contrary to what i’ve been writing, i am pretty chill with moving on, i actually dont have attachment issues at all as friends and loves slowly fade to aquaintances and then to a warm memory every once in a while when something happens to trigger such a memory.

so i will be fine.

Like i said, i have no problems moving on once the closure is there.

Guess its back to square one on the drawing board, bc im sorry the korean bro that i met last night just doesnt hold the spark that i need.

Well.

its been fun loving you, thank you for peppering my life with warm and wonderful memories and fantasies, i,m sure i,d have despaired more without you.

i am eternally grateful for getting to know you and i wish you the very best.

goodbye

xoxo

come on through

It’s raining and quite frankly dreary outside. But i can see brooklyn from where i,m parked here in jersey city and the sight of the tall buildings warms my soul.

imu

xoxo

and so it goes

Darling J,

as you can probably tell, i’ve been to the patterson infirmary this past weekend and while it was fantastic being there, i can’t help but to think of you.

man.

i sorely wish there was a way of finding out if you were single. I feel like u are but you never know. And i dont want to covet a taken man, but still i just always seem to get u stuck in my head whenever i,m in patterson.

and i always end up driving by your house too, looking for any lights and so on.

i am such a loser.

on a brighter note, the infirmary seems to be running smoothly with all the same residents there, that’s always good. Althoug *# will always be *# hahaha,terrorizing all the sisters hahaha

(Im sorry its not funny. Im jusg kind of tired i guess things arent making sense)

oh yeah. I also have a talk coming up so that majorly stinks. Atleast L-bear put me with RR who is like my favorite person in Mahwah/morris chinese haha

and its all written. For some reason im not as nervous.

I am so going to bomb.

and the branch meeting!!! It was just so wonderful. Why dont we have them every week again?

i esp enjoyed bro morris’ talk, it was so applicable. Omg never wearing yoga pants and leggings outside again!!

And hahahahahaha omg he must really hate the tight suit look and the bright socks.

I’m glad he addressed the tight suit. Seriously, boys have to stop.

and it really reminds me to be careful of how i am presenting myself as well.

Gosh.

i have to review my notes again but it was such an amazing program, definitely going to keep the construction project in my prayers and also we have too really work on keeping family worship regular.

GAAAHHH!! just remembered AGAIN that u are no longer at patterson and it is depressing me. 🙁

Ok well.

oh yeah! The DA wedding event dress bonanza

lololol this is kinda embarrassing.

so mommy hated the dress i originally got for the wedding which was really a bummer as i adored it. Apparently its too tight (which it kinda is, which now that i think about, im glad mommy hated it otherwise bro morris’ words would’ve been going around all day next sat) so i needed to find a new dress.

AAAHHHH!!! PANIC TO THE NTH DEGREE!!

i mean i got a new pair of loubs just for the occasion and everything.

Grrr

do i went kinda crazy and well managed to narrow it down to 2 dresses, the rose dress from tracy reese at a whopping $500 or the gia dress from pug for around $150.

but man, i had a feeling the gia would be too similar to the tatyana dress ie too tight.

🙁

and the tracy reese dress was thankfully very unforgiving. I mean it made me look so wide. Like i know im kind of chunky but this dress made me look like pumbaa in a fancy red dress, no joke.

thankfully as in hello, $500 pricetag???

(875$ shoes are not too bad as come on SHOES. and ill wear them forever. But a dress?? Nuhuh. I wear it once and then its difficult to wear again. Plus did i mention it made me look super chunky and bald too?? BALD!!)

so back to the drawing board.

eh.

so i finally find this erin fetherstons dress, on sale for $200!! And it is absolutely darling!!

Oh j i wish u could see me in it. I look so feminine you wouldnt believe its me haha. So soft and airy and pink and just the epitome of being a woman.

it is so so lovely.

so yeah. I am saved haha.

so that is where life stands for me.

i wonder what u are doing all the time.

I wish i knew ur status. So as to know for sure if u were a viable option.

because if u arent then i seriously need to move on.

i thought maybe…

well we’ll see.

xoxo

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